I’m laying in bed on a lazy Friday night, binge watching everything on Netflix and I realize Black Mirror finally has a new season. I love the different scenarios and alternate realities that they depict. But there’s one episode on here that’s about dating and falling in love. The main characters mention at the beginning of the episode how happy they were that there was a dating service like this to help people find their matches. And how boring and hard it would be if they had to find someone all their own, and break up with someone all by themselves. The idea of having too many options leading to no decisions ever being made. Essentially that’s how I was starting to feel with online dating. There’s such a large pool of people, that when someone pisses you off, or if you find 1 quality in someone that you don’t like, it’s so easy to cast them off, because there’s so much more to chose from anyway. It’s an endless buffet of men that get carouseled around for you to pick up and drop down when you’re through with them.
Anyway, I’m getting beside the point of what the fuck I wanted to express tonight.
This episode has made me reflect on Rebound Babe and I. It’s made me think of all of our encounters prior to this, and how I feel every time I’m with him, or how I dream about what our future could be. I remember in our times in the past, sitting next to him and thinking, “Why does this feel so easy?”
Fast forward 6 years later and it’s still the same feelings and comfort that I felt back then. There’s nothing forced. I’m not trying to be a girl that I think he wants me to be. I’m just being me and he laughs at my jokes… and even better he laughs at how terribly I tell them. He snuggles me when I’m being impossible and ridiculous. He pumps me up with confidence when I need a boost. He calls me out on my bullshit, and doesn’t let me get a way with murder. He loves me every moment we get. And all of this are things that just come naturally. Nothing that he needs to pre-game in his mind as to how he’s supposed to be with me. And vise-versa. If there’s an event or something that I want him to be a part of, I know that I can just simply ask him if he wants to go. I don’t have to give him a way out. Or feel as though I have to give a stipulation like, “But we only have to stay for 2 hours, and then we can do whatever you want to do right afterwards.” He’s just happy to be by my side. It’s such a nice change to everything I’ve ever had in the past.
It also feels as though we have lived a million lifetimes together, and have had many lifetimes apart. To when the universes align again, and it’s another moment and interaction that we get to share, and the whole world stands still. Like a scene in a movie where everything else becomes foggy and in slow motion, and the 2 main characters have their meet-cute, with a nervous awkwardness and clumsy flirtation.
With her head in the clouds, Mo turns around quickly to get her coffee and she collides into Rebound Babe spilling his coffee all over the two of them. Nervously she tries to clean the coffee up off him without realizing shes’s rubbing him everywhere.
Barista yells out: Grande Toffee Nut Latte
Rebound Babe and Mo both reach out to to the latte trying to claim it as their own. The two giggle and discuss who’s the rightful owner of the latte. Mo concedes, but says, “Fine, you can have this coffee, IF you buy me one here tomorrow? Same time?”
Mo is at a party and bored, and not really speaking with anyone. She decides to look at the fishes when she notices Rebound Babe on the other side of the fish tank doing the same, as they catch eyes.
While being on a train, Mo and Rebound Babe overhear a couple arguing in a foreign tongue. The two look over at each other, eyes widen as they both laugh at the display. The two continue to talk all through the night and explore a random city together.
I’m walking through the city chatting on my phone while my stiletto gets stuck on a city grate. As a car comes zooming in at me, Rebound Babe jumps in the street to rescue me.
Okay, enough of all of that. Clearly I’ve been on a rom-com marathon lately. But what’s so special, is that every one of our romances all have their own meet-cutes. I have to say, that Rebound Babe and I’s real meet-cute was very similar to Situation 3. I saw him performing at Commonwealth Lounge, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Throughout the night, I remember our glances kept catching each other. Although it may have only been seconds at a time, each eye lock felt like all time had stopped. We didn’t end up talking that night, but I remember very clearly needing to know his name and what his story was. It wasn’t until months later that we actually had the opportunity to chat with one another.
There’s a part of me that feels cheated out of time together. I believe that we have our time and things happen as they should. But I feel like I was cheated out of being able loving him the past 7 years. Not as though what’s happened between that time wasn’t valuable. But that I want more of our love story. I want to form more words to sentences, and pages to chapters.
So, I think this is the part of the blog where every reader has now thrown up because of how gross and lovey-dovey I’ve become? Jesus. Who is this Maureen?
I don’t know.
But for once. She feels complete. She’s just… happy.