My Rock, My Shoulder, My Sword

Just about this same time last year I told you how I was having difficulty with my new sense of “freedom” and that I needed to find a new posse of girlfriends to mimic what I had before I moved to The City of Angels.  There’s something about your original crew that will always guide you to front of the line, because Mo doesn’t wait in lines… and all at the same time will be quick to kick in the ass when you ain’t acting right.  There’s no sugar sprinkling or bumpers up along the bowling lane.  The strength of these women is something to be admired, and the fact that the 3 of us couldn’t be more different makes this trio the power of what it is.  I couldn’t be more grateful to have these women in my life.

I’m a spiritual person- but not in that tree hugging, patchouli wearing, non-armpit shaving type- more so that I believe when you do right by yourself, these good acts will radiate in golden hues onto the rest of my surroundings.   Of all the fucked up things I’ve done, said, connived, conspired and wished upon in my darkest of days…. the fact that I am lucky enough to have the girlfriends I have around me… my life couldn’t be more complete.  If this is the cosmos trying to tell me, “Girl…. you haven’t been fucked proper in about a year… let me give you this one thing” so all the moons, stars, suns, universes and perfect outfits aligned….. and somehow the 3 of us just so happen to be single again at #thesamedamntime.

I realize that this blog is supposed to be about 1. online dating 2. the boys I meet 3. one night stands 4. building something with a potential SO… but sometimes its about the growth & realizations that happens during the in-betweens.  And just as much as I like to brag about my sexual conquests and the number of orgasms I had one night (which I hope happens a lot more frequently to make up for some lost time), I feel its necessary to pay homage to the the babes who consistently support, and provide guidance through the dark days.  And FUCK YOU… this is my blog… so Imma say what the FUCK I wanna talk about. So I’ll go into describing the curvature of next boi’s dick soon.  That I can promise!

But back to my sentimental moment as I enjoy a a vodka-st.germaine-rosemary cocktail.  *Ahem* As I was saying…. it’s about the the growth & realizations that happens in this single phase… and where we are trying to get to.  We must remind ourselves to never compare our love-lives, or lack-of-love lives to people who are in these steady relationships.  It’s like they have this fast-track pass at Disneyland to get what their heart desires… while you’re at the ATM trying to withdraw a $20 and the asshole tells you that you have insufficient funds.

ME:  Yeah, but can’t you just withdraw it from my savings??

ATM MACHINE: No girl…. all tapped out, I told you that that the last time.

ME:  What the fuck?  You keeping log on my desperation?!

It’s in those moments when you’re willing to accept a non-sufficient funds fee for 5 minutes of satisfaction that you question WTF you’re even doing with yourself.  The Ghosts of  Ex-FuqBoi’s Past somehow can sense when you’re in your most vulnerable and you get the text of “Hey”… and suddenly your world is turned right side up?  What?!

How is it that these insecurities even develop past it’s tadpole phase?  All I can say is at one time or another, you’re either The Rock, The Shoulder or The Sword to your Good-Good-Girlfriends.  And if you’re lucky enough you can find a tribe in which each one of you are able to be one of those figures when its needed most… hold on to those girls. Because we’ve all needed a guidepost of what I want to embody, the shoulder to cry on when we are at our weakest, and the sword who will slash into every tire of who fucked with my girl.  This post is dedicated to my one my and only Dreds & EasyBreezy. Without you, I don’t know where I would be.  And I never want to know what this life would be without you in it.